Birds & Bees

Read this:

Dear 5th Grade Parents:

In The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language maturation is defined as
mat·u·ra·tion (m ch -r sh n)
n.
1. The process of becoming mature.
2. Biology
a. The processes by which gametes are formed, including the reduction of chromosomes in a germ cell from the diploid number to the haploid number by meiosis.
b. The final differentiation processes in biological systems, such as the final ripening of a seed or the attainment of full functional capacity by a cell, a tissue, or an organ

However, for you and your child it’s a time of change. Some of you have been through this experience before; for others, this is the first time you will be going through this stage with your child. In order to help initiate the beginning of some of these conversations, on ****day, the ** of November at 1:45 p.m., Birds & Bees Associates will be at your school to present a maturation clinic. Presenters E. Dilworth Newman, M. Ed. and Nurse Lynne Calame, R. N., M. Ed. will be leading the discussion.

This is an excerpt from a letter that I received in my email box. A few problems with this are:

1. I know I am not old enough to have a child that needs to have these talks yet. I am not even 30 years old yet.
2. I am SCARED to death about what he already knows, or thinks he knows from his friends.
3. The letter goes on to ask that a parent be with the student during this workshop. I don't want to go with him because he is a boy, but Lewis might laugh his way through the whole thing. I am happy to go with the girls when the time is right but I am worried that he will be uncomfortable having his MOM with him.
4. I wonder if he is better off having us talk to him before this so he knows more then what they are going to tell him so that he is not embarrassed, or shocked with anything that they say.

Now I know that in our state these workshops are mild and timid compared to other places. I had mothers tell me last year that they really thought it was a waste of time because the kids learned so little. Still though... my stomach is churning just thinking about it.

*Plus did you see the name of the guy giving the workshop?