About a year ago 2 friends that I have each lost a baby a few months apart. Each case was different.
My first friend was so stricken with grief that she was never able to touch the baby again. She buried the baby without holding him. It would have hurt too much she said. She buried the baby without a kiss goodbye. That was right for her.
The other friend held her baby tight through the service until the end. She wanted as much time with that precious baby as she could.
I thought I was like my first friend. I even told Lewis that I would never be able to hold my child knowing they were gone. He told me I had no idea what I was talking about. He said until I had to actually be in that position I could not say what I would or wouldn't do. He was right.
I now know that I am not like my first friend. I am like my second friend. To have to let one of them go would break my heart, and me. I love them more then they will ever know. Even with their quirks and problems they are perfect to me. They are my life and my love.