What do you do?

While talking to a friend today I had an epiphany. Well maybe not an epiphany, but it was something. Somehow the course of the conversation veered slightly (where if you know me, conversations have a tendency to do just that...veer) off of the subject. This particular friend always asks me " What does So-n-So's husband do for a living?" and I sometimes know but usually do not. That has always kind of bothered me about myself. (For example M.R. has told me what her husband does maybe 10 times. Can I tell you what he does? No. But not because I do not listen and care about what she tells me.) I finally realized why I do not feel the need to hold onto that kind of information.

I do not care. I care about you, just not your job.

It really does not matter to me if you are a baker, a lawyer, a trash collector, or a school teacher. Some of my closest friends at school are the janitors. My dad was in the Army and he is a lawyer. My mom was a librarian and a secretary. M.S. has a very important high up position in the military. T.R. drives a school bus. Lewis is in sales. L.P. is a lunch lady. My friend started, owned and then just sold a big reality company here in Utah for MILLIONS. One of my closest friend's husband answers phones for Discover card. J.G. is in the marines and is being sent to Afghanistan. Amanda works for a non-profit organization. My sister works the check stand at Walmart. It is her favorite job. Ever. In. Her. Life.

Is the millionaire any better the the janitor? You might say yes. What would you say if I told you that the millionaire is one of the cruelest, nasty people that I have ever met? That he is mean just to be mean, and has always been that way even in college when he was worth nothing. He used to sleep with married women and steal money from poor college students to buy drugs. And that he beat up young teens (13 and 14) for fun when he was drunk? All the while going to church and acting like Peter Priesthood. Is he still better?

I think that people put too much emphasis on what others "do". Does Lewis have a "cool" job because he is in sales? No. Sales are lame. Tons of people do sales. (Sales are boring, and if you are just marginally good at it then you do not make a lot of money.) But if I told you he does sales for the Utah Jazz then that would make it "cool"? Yes. Same job, why does it matter?

I am not perfect. I was mortified when I was 17 and my mom worked at Long John Silvers. I was immature and too worried about what others would think. Does it matter today? No. She is still my mom and I now know that she was willing to do whatever our family needed to stay afloat. Isn't that all that matters anyway?

My point? I care about who you are, not about what you do.